the word God cannot be defined in words but many are opposed to the word God usually because people know that the common definition is incomplete and does not do justice to what it stands for. I quess it is for the same reason that the israelites were forbidden from making an image of God because when an image is made of God the infinite God is limited in the minds of people. Words are images, there are whole traditions and holy books that specificly do not use words because they are inadequate to explain the ineffable. An infinite reality/god/ism can not be described in words. Words are the basis of knowledge but real wisdom comes from realization into your being, which are not worded but can be expressed by words. You can have a lot of knowledge in your mind but it can still be meaningless to your being until you "actually get it".

If your getting worked up about what i say you are probably trying to be semantic about my words. The nature of many spiritual riddles is that you need to go beyond the common definition of words and phrases, and also to go beyond the common way of aproaching challenges in order to grasp the intended meaning of and to learn the riddle its lesson. These Koans are usually impossible excercises for the intellect and if people persevere the intellect will wear out and give space to higher spiritual faculties while the intent of the student is strong.

I am happy

I am now with my "beppe", my grandmother from dads side. I cant help but notice the air to be very dry and a little bit irritating. Two days ago i was at my parents with my little sister, her boyfriend, mom & dad, both my grandmothers and my grandfather from dads side for christmas. (grandfather from dads side is now long passed away.) Two days prior i spoke with my grandmother where i am right now via MSN messenger over the internet. I objected to coming because it felt it would reinforce the sense of family where the emotional aspect of it was missing. I do not feel respected by my parents so i did not want to raise this appearance. Nevertheless my little sister came to my home unexepectadly and i didnt need much persuasion to come along.

I felt like something was blocked mentally after i ate at my parents. It was known i objected to eating meat but they did not quite understand what i ment and i didnt feel like explaining it. We had vegetable soup to start with a little meat you could pick and leave out. Only it had been soaking for 3 days which i didnt apreciate because this basicly puts a lot of the meat in the liquid of the soup. Once brought back home i felt like something was missing or blocked. I feel normal at the moment altough a little irritated by the dry air. I once more notice that i am deeply afraid of speaking to my family about what bothers me.