I am now with my "beppe", my grandmother from dads side. I cant help but notice the air to be very dry and a little bit irritating. Two days ago i was at my parents with my little sister, her boyfriend, mom & dad, both my grandmothers and my grandfather from dads side for christmas. (grandfather from dads side is now long passed away.) Two days prior i spoke with my grandmother where i am right now via MSN messenger over the internet. I objected to coming because it felt it would reinforce the sense of family where the emotional aspect of it was missing. I do not feel respected by my parents so i did not want to raise this appearance. Nevertheless my little sister came to my home unexepectadly and i didnt need much persuasion to come along.

I felt like something was blocked mentally after i ate at my parents. It was known i objected to eating meat but they did not quite understand what i ment and i didnt feel like explaining it. We had vegetable soup to start with a little meat you could pick and leave out. Only it had been soaking for 3 days which i didnt apreciate because this basicly puts a lot of the meat in the liquid of the soup. Once brought back home i felt like something was missing or blocked. I feel normal at the moment altough a little irritated by the dry air. I once more notice that i am deeply afraid of speaking to my family about what bothers me.