spiceant's diary - lifes, thoughts and worrys

Name:
Location: Groningen City, Groningen, Netherlands

November 30, 2008

I posted this post to describe my individual elsewhere

Hallo best fellow human being,

I am commonly known to my fellow human beings as Sander buruma and on the internet foremost as spiceant or antspice. I am single, 21 years young and male. I now live on my own on government charity... I have been diagnosed with PDDnos which simply means that they dont really know whats wrong with me except that it is autism related, so i fill in what i think it means to me. I am introvert and feel most comfy when i can express myself via a keyboard over the internet. In my youth i have always been tired and i have long despised my mom because i feel i have ben manipulated by her in a bad way, even though with good intentions. I have denied the latter for a long time. For those things i now see a therapist.
I have the feeling that my little sister (19 year young) has developed a crooked self image by being exposed too much to television and similar societal influences which causes her to be susceptible to opptertunistic and bad guys. I remember well she said she is still a virgin in her own mind. After she was abused she became depressed and anorexic, i dont know what exactly happened buti remember well when this reality got through to me when i saw the scars on her arms when she came to sleep in my room because she was scared to sleep alone.
I blame my parents that this happened for her, but also recognize it also as a societal (big picture) problemn. I see modern western/european society as dysfunctional and sick. It does my confidence in you no good if you measure your succes in how well you are aligned with this society. You probably figured that i despise tradition and empty rituals and tradition and i prefer to go barefooted and chested temperature allowing. I go to the city square to get my food I live very minimally and naturally. I prefer to go through the day with fresh orange juice and juicy types of fruit like apples, berries, pineapples. I search out the most tasty fruits and i juice the best oranges for orange juice. I cant tolerate the many grain products very well. In summer i am happy to go to the clothing optional beach to do some nude sunbathing. I dont come up with the idea to eat hot meals by myself and if you come to me with tasteless food with lots of salt you make no impression on me. If the food is tasteless it is nutritionally empty any way and salt only makes it worse. I despise it when people shove their lifestyle into my life with the "scientific" support of the tabloid science that approved cigarets. Dont ask me who im going to vote for because that is insanity, the last time i was forced to vote i voted blank.

I am currently working on being as positive as possible in life and i attempt to express this in as many ways as possible. Doing so by positive speech and showing an honest smile, always being honest, treating people respectfully. Sometimews i feel inspired to write confrontational pieces of text and often go on and on unless requested to stopped. I have toured around a few christian forums, but that seems to be a fruitless cause atleast until i get to heaven.

I am as healthy as a young person. I have rarely been sick. I have rarely seen doctors but for vaccinations and i am sorry that i did. Jesus was a royal pain and is apparantly the king of kings so i will probably also be a royal pain when need be. I am becoming more majestic every day and some of you are beginning to realise this. Dont come pushing your prophecies of doom and death because i will turn them upside down. I am the law of my life. Dont excuse me if i say the earth is flat, that is a hard fact because otherwise if the earth were a sphere half the people fall off the bottom... (not)

I now have a desktop background of a nude yoga lady in a pose making me think of a bridge from the side and a sunset or rise in the arc. Majestic beautifull and flexible. I will do some yoga myself soon.

Practicly my english is as good as my dutch. If you want to know more about me do a internet search on my (nick)name, for example.