This is part of a discussion with someone i think to be honestly faithfull. I hope you can learn from it or about me, but preferably about true faith.

(Disclaimer: i deleted/altered some sentences bigtime mostly or only for privacy reasons)

The texts with the dots in front of them are from the other person.

• Just reading part of your blog made me think of myself sometimes. It is a struggle leaving/getting kicked out of the organization. Mentally, emotional, spiritually, and even physically.

I try to reconcile my dramas like these with Matthew 10:12-15:If they don't welcome you, quietly withdraw. Don't make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way. You can be sure that they'll be mighty sorry on Judgment Day —but that is no concern of yours right now. Their freedom or their responsebility is their own, we can plant the weeds but only S... i mean only Jehovah can grow the wheat we sow. /pun

• So here is the Job senerio for me. many bad things happened all in one month! Then then it got a little worse and i got depressed. I got over it and was starting to feel good when shortly after i got floored again and i still didnt have a job! If it wasnt for my friends the situation would have been worse.

The storm is rolling in and the waves are coming up against everyone, but we can have the confidence that our Father is very capable of fathering his own children. That is what we are, children of Jehovah the god of angels.

Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child... Mat 18:2-5 Do you know one thing parents hate the most about having children? They nag constantly in a simple instinct, they need their father. Keep knocking, keep asking, Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better? Mat 7:7-12

• So with all this happening to me right after I got disfellowshipped, it was a struggle of the WT thinkng against God's word. Am I doing the right thing and thus are suffering cause of it or am I an evil apostate that has been mislead from the true organization?

You are very blessed when people betray you and turn on you and speak hatefull things of you, remember that they hated the Christ first. You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. -Mat 5:10 Now personally it doesn't catch me as a surprise when people are deceived and deceive others. In the end, all that matters will be our love for god and our fellow human beings. Deut 6:5 Lev 19:18

If one does not love his brothers he is still walking in darkness and the darkness blinds him. -1 John 2:11

• I'm glad to be free of it all! I just want to worship God in spirit and truth. You don't need people to tell you how to do that if you are a mature christian and know the word good. Why did Jesus say "if two or three are gathered in my name there I will be." if everyone that was acceptable to him was in one organization? I believe this new DB is a good thing. Perhaps the lord will bless our efforts to refine ourselves according to his word and to be doers of the word not just hearers, explainers, teachers, preachers, prophets etc.. but doers. If you cannot live your life in accord with the spirit (fruits of the spirit) then everything else is useless.

I keep repeating this prayer (and variations of it).
...Let me see light for light, darkness for darkness, your will for goodness and not the lie for light or poison for food...
He isn't letting me down, so be frank, direct & open. Jehovah is all we need and he is very well aware of us. what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? -Psalm 8:4

• I'm really going to make an effort to live the word by my actions. Doing good to others and treating other with love even if they don't. I'm going to concentrate on the simple gospel Jesus taught.
  22 On the other hand, the fruitage of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, 23 mildness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Moreover, those who belong to Christ Jesus impaled the flesh together with its passions and desires.

I bolded another part of your bible verses, which i think deserve some more attention it hasn't yet received. Keep your body enslaved. Paul (or it was Peter) slapped himself in the face. I take cold showers to wake up.

• If you have this fruitage then you are under no law! [ant: that is, of sin] You cannot be judged if you have this fruitage and put your faith in Christ as the ransom and savior.
  1 Cor 4:11 For no man can lay any other foundation than what is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
  John 14:6 Jesus said to him: “I am the way and the truth and the life.
  Christ is first everything else is secondary. Who was the man who showed the most faith is Israel? A roman soldier!!! Nobody can say or tell who is a true christian because the wheat is amoung the weeds. The WT used to say that the separating work was being done by the preaching work which started since 1914. But now they say that the separation of the wheat and the weeds is not until christ comes again to judge the world. If the wheat is being collected by Jw's then why does there need to be another separation when Christ comes for judgment according to what they teach. I do not even think they realise how messed up there theology is!!!Funny, No wonder we are basket cases! Huh?

Men will go to worse each day, deceiving and being deceived. Theres isnt a thing we can do about it, our father prophecied it so we can take account of it. (I think) Deception makes the seperating (& prophecy) possible, it will be the simple loving & righteous childlike that will inherit the kingdom.

I didn't have much to change about what he said, only a couple of things to add. Ill only add a little more now that i try not to worry about anything i can't control, because it will happen no matter what i do anyway. So i dont see the use of worrying about that.

(now that i look back on it i think i should be a litle less arrogant)

The rest of the conversation remains to be disclosed by a future revelation beyond my control, because i won't reveal it for a long time or perhaps forever.

goodnight, its getting late.