I used to crave organic peanutbutter (that one did taste good, the commercial stuff with added sugar tasted awfull), but now that also makes me sick and so i have two pots of organic peanutbutter standing in front of me with no use for them. I bought them to stasify my addiction, but that addiction seems to has gone. Now it just do anything but make me sick and the last part of this particular addiction seems to be gone, the habit part of this addiction to be particular. Me relapsing did not anymore grand me gratification, it made me sicker.So i have 2 pots of hardly used peanutbutter standing in front of me and i don't have a particular idea on what to do with them. Maybe i ought to mix it with some dirt and plant lots of different seeds in it and burry the stuff (without the pot) under a few inches of dirt. (Or i can just put it in the garbage, butprefer not to because that'd be a waste. With the strange weather maybe some oranges will pop up even over here in the netherlands) The thing i have experienced with peanutbutter today i have also experienced with (sourdough) bread / cooked grains (in general) to which i am/was addicted, now when i eat it it also makes me sick in my stomach as well and i feel lethargic (peanutbutter/grains basicly lost their appeal to me).

(Every time i ate grains/peanutbutter knowing they were bad i put some effort into memorizing what they made me feel like, after going down my throat.)

I had been hoarding oranges to feed myself in particular oranges from the 3 days in a week market at the city square (they used to taste really really good) but now they have got new shipments and these oranges just dont taste as good as they originally did, some taste as good as they used to, some have a trace of strong bitterness to them and some are watery/tasteless. I'm beginning to think grocery store quality food has taken over the city square markets too (altough, not as much). Choice of a hoarding target will switch to mangos or avocados as i find those very tasty right now.

(I'm getting the feeling that the supplier of fruit (and other foods) is what allows "them (shadow government/the devil)" to control the aspects of our food. What i mean is, that grocery stores are merely branches of this distributor that distributes all the foods to these grocery stores and thus fixes the price as it has been monopolized and thus there is no real competition where food is concerned, because theres only one distributor who youll be getting your food from. You who are familiar with this, its the same with the federal reserve/IMF controlling all mainstream banks or the pope controlling catholics or fascist 'royal' saudis controlling arabia).

So far i refuse to move into my new house untill it has internet, which should be connected within a few weeks. Then i dont know what will happen exactly, it will be good.