Anyway this is how i think it went. Last night i had a long talk with my mom about the world and lots of esotoric stuff such as how scientific studies are twisted by making corrolations look like causes and some of the half truths and why i dont want to be a copy of everyone else. At the end i let a few tears. Now though what i told her i dont notice that it stuck with her it seemed to have gone out the other ear or its just still stuck in the other one, i'm not sure. Anyway this morning i woke up and started my computer and checked out some of my usual bulletin boards looking if anything interesting happened.

I wanted to go for a swim to get rid of any smell on me (outside in the water right next to the house) and it turned out the water was very cold. At that point across our little garden and on the other side of the water (16 feet wide canal) there was one grasscutting machine with a man controlling it cutting the grass so i waited till he was gone. I quess i want to avoid any controversies that might somehow be sparked by any sight of a complete human body. I crawled right in (not wearing any clothes in the water as usual) and started swimming immediactly. Something which i think might not have been the best idea because the water was cold and my body not instantly used to it. I swam a bit oooh maybe 30 feet (10 meters) and returned and pulled myself out of the water a bit. At that point i noticed that with my torso out of the water my body got a bit more used to the cold water but i didn't want to go back anymore so i got out and stayed a little active to warm back up again (walking up/down the stairs a few times). I started to bring about the mail and afterwards getting me ready to go on freehugging (grabbing a bible and my freehugs sign and looking up verses after which it turned i didnt get to using the bible for anything but weight training). I was a bit alarmed if there was enough time for freehugging halfway through the mail because the mail seemed to take so long. There was a little dilemma because i ordered oranges and they would be brought about 4pm and i wouldnt be home, they would require cash as it was my first order with them and nobody would be home when they came so i took a crate wherein i got my mail (that i bring about in the neighbourhood) put a piece of paper on its bottom with the name of the company and z.o.z. which is the dutch acronym for 'see other side' along with a rubber band so the wind wouldnt blow it away. I put the crate outside upside down with the money required below it and went off.

Well it was a nice day a little bit cool but the sun shone mostly. I stepped off my bycycle got my sign and started walking with the sign up in the air. I started walking to the city square and asked people if they wanted a hug. It felt a little depressing to me and uncertain and this feeling stayed untill i stopped. As if vampires were sucking my will and lifeblood. Nevertheless i kept on going and had a decent feeling about it. I asked and asked and almost everybody said no. I met one lady a homeless any the slept in the park it turned out she does illegal drugs (the needle type drugs) i tried to be nice but i couldnt hear her voice. When she was gesturing needles i went back to freehugging. It still felt a bit depressing partly because i didn't manage to make so many conversations. Anyway i ended giving about 20 hugs. The first hug i remember giving was to some lad across the street they were building a store or something, a group of about 5 20 year olds. They were doing the pulling a joke kind of thing "this guy wants a hug this guy wants a hug" and i then said well it looks like you want a hug (there were 4 out of 5 fingers pointing at himself) this kind of thing happened often. A couple of other men (30+) called me gay. A few women called it too intimate. Some outright called me (equivalents of) a moron. I tried explaining its a friendly thing. A few young girls (18ish) were enthousiastic and gave a hug. Three of them chased after me cos i was walking away from them. I apreciated the 18 year olds because they were the enthousiastic ones.
I met a photographer along the way about 50 years old or so... perhaps younger i have no clue. He said he would like to take pictures for his study i said sure gimme some by e-mail. He later also turned the pictures into the semi-national newspaper for our Groningen province (i got on the 10th page of the Oktober 3rd edition of "het Dagblad van het Noorden". No names or much text just pictures and a small description of the free hugs movement. I didn't mind.

Just a week later i got mail from the adressed commercials company Sandd stating that someone observed some guy being nude (except for shorts) doing the mail. I brought this mail up to my belt of paperwork on my bed and because i never used to put anything on my bed my dad looked through it and noticed it. After i was half done doing my mail (in nothing but shorts) my parents asked me to sit down and if i had a clue what they wanted to do talking about. I said something like well uh i dont know clothes, food, work, home or a combination thereof?

Well they turned agressive (mentally) asked me to sit down and asked me what i was gonna do. I didn't think they were going to accept if i said i would ignore it the second i said well i could give everyone in my neighbourhood (about 320 adresses) a notice of why i do what i do and a request to let me. I got upset banged my head on the table twice (which was alternative to throwing a chair through glass or attempted murder or suicide both of which i dont want to do) and said i'd rather be dead then do what i hate and that i feel very unhappy doing what i dont want to do. Which by itself is true. But suicide is not my option. If i need to die somebody or something else must do it for me.

Well days passed, about 14 of them. I am pondering how to cleanse my body and become a thriving fit and healthy being (preferably fruitarian or beyond that). I know this won't work with my parents. They see fasting as starvation and mom thinks i need lots of protein and that i need cook my dinner and need a lot of grain. And i went distilled water to mix with juices in the hopes of hydrating my body. Has she ever wandered if our bodies are designed to eat anything but fruit?
I'v mostly "fallen back" to playing computergames except today and yesterday. eating lots of grains and (organic) peanutbutter which i dont think are good for me, but i had a craving and uncertain on what to do i went and did what i did.

I started compiling this post on october 2nd, waited and finished today on the 16th.