WHITE HOT MOLTEN LAVA IRON, TEARS OF PURE ACID

Back when i was a kid i was very sensitive and always tired in school and didnt do my homework so i sort of flunked in school but did well enough to get an education as low level medical analist. I was very sensitive socially and cared a lot about other people and their wellbeing and was very sensitive to moods. (I still care a great deal about people but care less and less about their sensitivities and wont help people that wont help themselves)

Now and i dont care a lot about what i did or not achieve in childhood. I was a kid and my parents were responsible.

Anyway whenever i didnt do my homework dad would get mad and scream at me and i would mentally close down to hide myself from the yelling which caused me lots of mental pain. All the time when my mom and dad were home were home i would feel they wanted me to do my homework but i couldnt put myself to doing it because i was tired and felt unmotivated. I would hear them arguing when i tried to sleep every night. I had no place to rest, school was stressfull, home was stressfull and unsafe, so i hid in computergames (simulation games, strategy games, economy games, the kind of niche games 99% of kids wouldnt play).

Mom came over a few days ago and basicly this is what happened
We talked. I yelled. Pointed to the stove with orange glowing coals and pointed out thats what it felt like when dad yelled/screamed at me. I waved my hands, pointing out that every time they found out the truth they punished me by my dads grilling yelling which i still have a trauma of. She wouldn't make any sensible comment. She kept asking me for input and i got so annoyed so i told her to go away. She kept insisting i was safe and not harmed by my dads yelling. But i WAS harmed and unsafe!!! I could only feel safe by hiding in my computergames. The pain was like the white hot iron which they trained me to avoid by deceiving them at every chance i got and at that to deceive everyone that could tell them the truth.

she had the nerve to say im here for you now
and again my anger BURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Later over the internet she had the nerve to tell me i should express more gratitude for the fact she did what she thought was right.
YOUR NOT IN ANY POSITOIN TO TELL ME THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU SCREWED UP
i asked if she would act differently if it happened again. She was like well... maybe... i did the right thing
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRR
THE NERVE, THE ARROGANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRR
MOM,
YOU SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM 21 NOW, YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!
YOU SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET OUT, RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!